Wednesday, May 18, 2011

More on Viewpoint -- writing tip

Question: Saw your post on viewpoint and it's obvious to me I missed a few of the "rules." Can you post them on your blog? I don't belong to it, but I follow it on Twitter, so I always check in on writing tip days....

Answer: Sure. This basic info is from a handout I used to use in my writing classes.

VIEWPOINT: A CONUNDRUM

The best way to choose viewpoint is to ask yourself whose story or scene it is. Once you know who the story is about it’s safe to assume that most of the story will be told from that character’s viewpoint, either in first person with an“I” narrator, or third person with a “She or he” narrator.

The rulebook says there are several kinds of pov.

"First Person" is written with an "I" narrator, as if the story happened to you. As Barbara Michaels once remarked, "It is difficult to engender suspense as to the survival of the protagonist in a first person story."

"Third Person" limited, is written in third person, but limited to a single point of view. Essentially, it is the same as first person, but with different pronouns. This is the pov chosen for most short stories. Also most Gothics (girl in danger like Mary Stewart and Meryl Sawyer) stories are written in first person limited, while Harlequin and most genre romances are written in third person limited. In either case “limited” means limited only to the main character’s thoughts and feelings. The reader cannot know anything the character doesn’t see, think, or feel.

One way to get emotion across for a character, when we're in another character's viewpoint, is to use body language to express the character’s inner feelings. Describing the body language will get the character’s emotions across to the reader, whether the observing character understands them or not. Remember the classic romance ploy where the heroine thinks the hero is mad because his teeth are clenched and the inevitable muscle in his jaw is jerking, but the reader knows it’s only because he’s in the throes of desire. We all read body language all the time. It does no good for someone to tell us, "I'm not upset at all," if their face is red, and their arms are crossed firmly on their chest, while one foot taps the floor.

"Limited Omniscient," is written in third person, and limited to a single viewpoint in any one scene, but is considered omniscient, because it can shift from one character's viewpoint to another's at scene or chapter changes. This is against the rules in short stories, but IS used in most mainstream novels by everyone from Margaret Mitchell to Stephen King to Larry McMurtry.

True "Omniscient" viewpoint is the godlike view of a story told by a narrator who knows all, including all the characters innermost thoughts. This is the familiar pov of fable and fairy tale. "Once upon a time in a land far, far away...."

Finally, there is the "Camera-eye" or what is sometimes called the "Exterior Dramatic" viewpoint, in which no single character's thoughts are revealed and every part of the story is told only with described action. This is the most difficult viewpoint in which to write, but it forces the writer to produce images. Some college professors have called it the ONLY "authentic" viewpoint. It's a good learning viewpoint for writers who are poor at description, but can produce cold and "unfeeling" stories through the detachment necessary.

The advantage of using “Limited Omniscient” viewpoint (by far the standard in our day and age) is that you can sometimes show things that happen when your main viewpoint character is not present -- and you can have more than one viewpoint character with the focus character shifting at scene or chapter breaks. This is the viewpoint I chose for my novels KILLRAVEN and GHOST DANCER as well as for the spirit series. I wanted to have scenes from both the man’s and the woman’s viewpoint and to show what one was doing while the other was elsewhere.

If you limit yourself to one character’s viewpoint in either first or third person, it gives the reader a closer involvement with the character, but you can only show the reader things that character sees or knows. The limitation is exactly the same as in first person, where the reader can only know what the “I” narrator sees and knows. If you choose that viewpoint, you can have a scene of your main character cleaning out the school and having a heart to heart about Love with her best friend while they work. But you cannot follow it with a scene where the villain watches them from behind a bush and plans rape and murder. With the second option, the reader knows the two women are in danger, even though the villain slinks off (for now) when the hero appears. The reader knows what he intends to do and that he might Come Back anytime. With the first it’s only the heart to heart talk that is at stake. With the second you have set up tension and suspense that should last through several scenes and chapters in the back of the reader’s mind.

In every viewpoint, you have to be careful, too, not to show anything that scene's viewpoint character can't see. For instance if an embarrassed viewpoint character describes her own "blushing red cheeks" she can't see that unless she’s looking in a mirror. On the other hand, you can describe gestures and inner feelings and emotion in a viewpoint character. For instance, the protagonist can "hope her shame didn't show on her face," or "feel the heat of embarrassment burning on her face". When we show a detail only other characters can see, it's called "author intrusion" because the writer is telling the reader something that the viewpoint character can't possibly see. Readers never notice this stuff, but critics and other writers always do. In today's fiction, the writer is never supposed to get between the reader and the story.

One way around this problem (I still catch myself doing it, so I surely know how to fix it) is to use one of the character's other senses, to get the point across. Your protagonist can't see her cheeks blush without a mirror (and that's done too often, and too often badly), but she might "feel her cheeks grow hot" or her "try to swallow back the tide of embarrassment and wished she could drop right through the floor." This was the hardest viewpoint lesson of all for me.

Now I’m going to give you some examples of the same scene, written from several different viewpoints.

Jacqueline's viewpoint third person limited: (We only know what J. is thinking and feeling).

Feeling tired after one of the toughest days on the job in weeks, Jacqueline let herself into the apartment and shut the door. She wasn't surprised to find the breakfast dishes still on the table, but stopped astonished, to see her husband, Bill, still in his undershirt and kicked back in his recliner with the evening paper.

"I thought you had that job interview this afternoon." Trying to control the sudden spurt of anger that made her hands shake, Jacqueline put down her bag and picked up the mail. More bills.

"I didn't go. It was too hot."


Jacqueline's viewpoint first person:

Feeling tired after one of the toughest days on the job in weeks, I let myself into the apartment and shut the door. I wasn't surprised to find the breakfast dishes still on the table, but stopped astonished when I saw my husband, Bill, still in his undershirt, kicked back in his recliner with the evening paper.

"I thought you had that job interview this afternoon." Trying to control the sudden spurt of anger that made my hands shake, I put down my bag and picked up the mail. More bills.

"I didn't go. It was too hot," Bill said.


Bill's viewpoint: third person (limited)

Bill watched as his wife, Jacqueline let herself in. Her shoulders were slumped as she came through the door. Jacqueline looked mousey and worn-out. How could a woman let herself go like that? That wasn't the worse, though. Ever since he'd lost his job, Jacqui meddled all the time. She'd had no right to set up an interview for him at her company when they advertised for a mail clerk! Did she think he wanted to be a mail clerk? Surely he was above all that.

Bill watched her glance at the dishes still on the table. She'd had plenty of time to do them before she left for work, but she'd left them for him. Well, he wasn't anybody's mail clerk and he wasn't anybody's housemaid, either.

"I thought you had that job interview this afternoon." Jacqui put down her bag and picked up the mail with fingers that trembled.

"I didn't go. It was too hot." Bill rattled the paper. Let her stand there and stare at the damned bills all day, it wasn't going to change anything.


Note that Bill is mentioned first, because HE is the viewpoint character. The viewpoint character should always be the first one named, as readers will assume if from the name position. But do you see how Bill’s thoughts and feelings come through, while Jacqui’s are only shown through her gestures and body language?

True omniscient pov:

Once upon a time in a city far far away, a young married couple were experiencing problems, because the husband had lost his job. (Notice the “telling.”) Feeling tired Jacqueline pushed into the apartment. Seeing the breakfast dishes still on the table and Bill kicked back in his recliner made her mad. (More telling.) Surely, he could do a little around the house.

Bill (hops into Bill’s head, because we see through his eyes) watched her glance at the dishes still on the table. She'd had plenty of time to do them before she left for work, but she'd left them for him. Well, he wasn't anybody's housemaid, and he wasn't anybody's mail clerk, either.

"I thought you had that job interview this afternoon." Jacqueline fought to control her anger (hops into Jacqueline’s head) as she put down her bag and read the bills ( more telling).

"I didn't go. It was too hot," Bill said, angrily. "I told you, you were wasting your time. You practically kill yourself working for that company. What makes you think I'd want to do the same?" Let her go ahead and get mad, (Hops into Bill’s head) it wasn't going to change anything.


Note: Now this gets into both peoples thoughts, but it is ill-favored with editors who call it “head hopping” and because of that and all the “telling” it almost certainly would be rejected.


Exterior dramatic -- or camera eye -- viewpoint:

Jacqueline's shoulders were slumped as she came through the door. She looked mousey and worn-out. She glanced at the yolk-encrusted plates and cups half full of cold coffee that were still on the breakfast table.

Bill looked up from his recliner and rattled the newspaper, shaking the pages into position with an impatient gesture.

"I thought you had that job interview this afternoon." Jacqueline frowned, put down her bag, and picked up the mail with shaking hands "You've been out of work for weeks. What are we supposed to do about these bills?"

"My life's ambition isn't to become a mail clerk in a company where you're a vice-president, so forget that. Besides, it was too hot." Bill's eyes narrowed when she glanced from him to the dishes. He rattled the paper again, but said nothing.


Notice in the last scene how, because of all the images, you can see everything. Nobody has to say Bill was angry, his “narrowed” eyes, and “impatient” rattling of the newspaper tell us that without going into his thoughts at all. I think this particular scene might work better in exterior dramatic viewpoint, although I usually don’t recommend it. All emotions have to be shown through gestures and body language, rather than letting the reader in on the character’s thoughts and feelings. Unless it is done very well indeed, it can produce work that comes across as “cold” and “unfeeling.”

1 comment:

  1. Good, comprehensive instruction for fiction writing. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete